Nimue's World

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    Posted at 18:46 on 3 Dec 2013 by Nimue Allen

    I've totally got out of the habit of writing here this year, haven't I? I'm not quite sure why, other than the fact that life has been going through a lot of changes over the past 12 months, and I haven't been ready to share it all. I'm still not quite ready to share all of it, but I hope I will be able to, in time.

    One of the biggest changes of the past 12 months, is R having moved to a different city to me. It was something she'd been wanting to do for quite some time, but it's meant that our relationship has been a long distance one since the beginning of the year. But that's not for too much longer. We're currently waiting to hear if we've got the house we wanted, and if we do (which is looking VERY likely right now,) we'll be moving in a couple of weeks time. Moving in together! It's really exciting and feels like a good step forwards. My relationship with R has been possibly the healthiest relationship I've ever had, and finally moving in together feels like the right step for us now.

    When I've moved in with partners in the past, it's always been in a rush, a mix of circumstances meaning that our relationships were only months old when we moved in together (or actually, I moved into their house), and unsurprisingly, none of these relationships lasted in the long term. Hell, they weren't even all that good in the short term, but I can't go back now and change the choices I made then. This time is different. R and I have been together nearly 4 years (wow, I can't believe it's actually been that long!). We have picked a house together which we are going to make OURS. For us, this was a very important distinction. Moving her into my place never felt like an option. There's a certain power imbalance in moving into someone else's house. No matter how much they want you there, there's always the feeling that it's *theirs*. This is the house they picked, they've arranged it how they want, they have to get rid of stuff or rearrange stuff for you to fit in.

    This wasn't something we wanted. We wanted somewhere we could pick together. Somewhere we work together to make the house work for us, we fit our stuff into the available space, no one has to make space in their lives for someone else's stuff. We will both have our own space (a bedroom and an office each) that we can use how we want, but the shared space will be spared. I am really very excited, though a little nervous and scared about it though!!

    But right now, we're in limbo, waiting to hear, waiting to pack me up and move me across the country again.

    My thoughts on my website are currently in limbo, I have exciting plans going forwards, but there's still a lot of work to do before I can begin formalising what's going on there.

    My relationship with The Boss is currently in limbo. We are still finding our ways in the new dynamic we have since our split last year, and on top of that, our relationship is about to become a long distance one again.

    I'm not actually in limbo, I guess. There's just so much change going on around me at the moment, and I don't deal well with change! I could deal with each of the above things on their own, but all together, they feel a bit overwhelming, if I'm honest. But the move and the site are short term things which should be resolved in a month or so, and my relationship with The Boss will evolve as is natural for us over time. There's nothing to worry about. I just need to get my head down and get on with stuff!!


    Lots of change all at once. These things never seem to space themselves out nicely, do they? Crossing every finger and toe for the house, and I hope the move goes smoothly!

    Btw, in terms of what to pack first, I usually start with books/CDs/DVDs, and things on shelves you don't use very often. Then clothes - pack a suitcase first of the stuff you'll need between today and moving day, and pack the rest. Start the kitchen 1 or 2 days before you move, and make sure you have loads of bubble wrap or newspaper to pack glassware. Bathroom and computer last. Good luck!
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