Nimue's World

Welcome to my Geeky, Kinky, Crazy World

 

 

 

 

 

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    Limbo

    I've totally got out of the habit of writing here this year, haven't I? I'm not quite sure why, other than the fact that life has been going through a lot of changes over the past 12 months, and I haven't been ready to share it all. I'm still not quite ready to share all of it, but I hope I will be able to, in time.

    One of the biggest changes of the past 12 months, is R having moved to a different city to me. It was something she'd been wanting to do for quite some time, but it's meant that our relationship has been a long distance one since the beginning of the year. But that's not for too much longer. We're currently waiting to hear if we've got the house we wanted, and if we do (which is looking VERY likely right now,) we'll be moving in a couple of weeks time. Moving in together! It's really exciting and feels like a good step forwards. My relationship with R has been possibly the healthiest relationship I've ever had, and finally moving in together feels like the right step for us now.

    When I've moved in with partners in the past, it's always been in a rush, a mix of circumstances meaning that our relationships were only months old when we moved in together (or actually, I moved into their house), and unsurprisingly, none of these relationships lasted in the long term. Hell, they weren't even all that good in the short term, but I can't go back now and change the choices I made then. This time is different. R and I have been together nearly 4 years (wow, I can't believe it's actually been that long!). We have picked a house together which we are going to make OURS. For us, this was a very important distinction. Moving her into my place never felt like an option. There's a certain power imbalance in moving into someone else's house. No matter how much they want you there, there's always the feeling that it's *theirs*. This is the house they picked, they've arranged it how they want, they have to get rid of stuff or rearrange stuff for you to fit in.

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    Why One Ring Cannot Rule Them All

    So, over on fetlife there has been some interesting discussions going on around appropriate behaviour when wanting to play with someone when out at a club. The three posts were titled"Why I will never ask your Dom for permission" (the post that started it all, and has since been deleted), "Why I will always ask your Dom for permission", and "Your Kink Is Not My Community Standard".

    All three threads have some interesting points, and I have been thinking about where I stand on these matters.

    The first post basically stated that the writer would not play with someone where he had to ask that person's dominant partner for permission to play. And I can understand where he was coming from. I agreed with some of his points (that permission for sub b to play should be discussed between sub b and Dom A, without the need for anyone else to be involved in the discussion), but disagreed with others (ie, just because you're asking Dom A to play with their submissive b, doesn't put you in a position of being submissive to Dom A)

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