Nimue's World

Welcome to my Geeky, Kinky, Crazy World

 

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    Help Us Fight

    It's now been two months since legislation came in which makes most of what I do illegal, and there's currently no sign that it is going to change in the near future.  The other thing that's not changed is my decision to fight.  To not allow the government to censor the work I do, the work I believe to be incredibly important.  I will continue to produce the same kinky content as I always have.

    But fighting isn't going to be easy, and could potentially end with myself, and other UK fetish producers ending up in court.  If that happens, we will need on the support of Backlash, who are fighting against the new legislation, as well as doing amazing work defending freedom of sexual expression.  However, Backlash require donations to be able to maintain a legal fund to help those in need.

    With that in mind, Pandora came up with an idea, which both raises money for Backlash, and says a big "fuck you" to the legislation at the same time.  We decided to both put our bottoms up on the line, and do what we do best - make a film where we each recieve a hard cane stroke for each £10 raised, as well as offering other perks to those who donate.

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    KOTW - Crying

    When I started doing BDSM, it was very rare that I played a scene that didn't leave me crying, it was just how every scene was expected to go.  Now, I cry more rarely, and when I do, it's because I've chosen to.

    When I was younger, engaging in BDSM, I was bottling up a lot of emotions, and crying in a scene was a safe way to let it all out.  It wasn't always tears of pain or fear though.  I remember my first ever suspension, it was amazing, and I was blissed out the entire time.  But as the ropes started to come off, as I started to come back to reality, that was when the tears started.  They were tears of joy - of having achieved something that I'd dreamed of doing for a long time, and tears of sorrow - of having the ropes I was wrapped in removed, knowing that this experience was over.

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    The Experiment

    I know I've never really blogged about sex toys here, not in detail anyway, but I do read a lot of sex toy review sites, and over the past year especially, I've learnt a lot about the sort of sex toys that are good, and the kind of sex toys which are bad. 

    When I started out buying sex toys, I have to admit, I bought a lot of the cheap, jelly type dildos.  You know, the type that has an overpowering smell when you open the packaging, and leaves greasy stains on any paper of fabric you leave it on for too long?  And I (as many others) thought that was normal.  Until I had an experience with a dildo that left me thinking that something was definitely not right.

    The dildo in question was a big, black, double ended dildo.  Very soft and flexible.  And I was enjoying myself with it quite a bit, until I realised something didn't feel quite right.  Very quickly "not quite right" turned into "OMG, it burns, it burns", and me sitting in the shower, with the shower head aimed at my cunt, trying to wash off whatever was irritating me, and cool down the area at the same time. That was the point where I decided that maybe I needed to pay more attention to what I put in my cunt, but I didn't really know a lot about what toys would be better.

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    Looking forward

    It's that time of year, where everyone seems to look back over the past year and says what a mixed bag it has been, and looks forward to the new year with a list of things they plan to achieve.  And I'm not one to buck a trend when it gives me something to write about.

    However, I don't really want to dwell on the past year, other than to say I achieved a lot of stuff i set out to achieve, and failed to achieve other things.

    What I do want to do, is look to next year.  Next year has the potential to be amazing for me, with the opportunity to develop the projects I'm currently working on, and to finally set some projects that have been (vaguely) under wraps out into the wild.

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    Fat Pig

    I love humiliation.  Or rather, I love things that most people would view as humiliation.

    I love when The Boss calls me a "fat pig", when he tells me I'm a disgusting slut, that I'm filthy, and perverted, and wrong.  Because I am all those things.  But I feel no shame in being the things he calls me.

    Fat Pig

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    Elust edition #65

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    Photo courtesy of SassyCat

    Welcome to Elust #65 -

    The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #66? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! For our UK readers, we would like to make a special request that you take a moment and fill out this petition to repeal the new censorship laws.

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    The Personal Cost

    Guilt and self care

    This weekend, I've barely spent any time at my desk, and I have to be honest, I have felt a little guilty about it. I've retweeted a few links to articles, and of course, the link to the petition to repeal the new porn legislation, but apart from that, I've been staying away from reading or writing too much. I feel like I should be using all the energy I have to make my voice heard, to raise awareness, to fight.

    But the truth is, I have used all the energy I have to do that. By Friday evening I had no energy left. Friends who sent me messages telling me how they thought the new legislaiton was wrong recieved replies simply stating "I do not have the energy left in me to talk about this right now, but your support is appreciated".

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    New Legislation

    I was looking forward to writing a nice blog about last week's location shoot, and sharing lots of photos with you all.  And I am going to do that, but I feel that I need to blog about what has happened since I got home first.

    For anyone who doesn't know, on the first of December, new legislation came into place which makes films of a whole list of consensual bdsm and sexual activities illegal to produce.

    You can read a summary of what is and isn't allowed now here

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    Headshaving - During

    I've already written about the whys and the preparation for my headshaving scene here

    The day of the shoot arrived, and I have to admit to being a bit of a mess. I got up early to wash my long hair for the last time, and then did the last bits of packing I needed to do. Once I was packed and sorted, though, my nervous energy had nowhere to go, and I think I spent a little while wondering around the house, looking for things to do. I didn't manage much of this though, before R and Pandora told me to sit down, and eat and drink. They very much helped with this by pressing a bowl of cereal and mug of tea into my hands!

    Not long after that, The Boss arrived, and we all set off to the studio. We had the studio for the whole day for a couple of reasons - one being that I wanted to get some final photosets of my long hair before it was shaved off, and some more photos post shave, and two, we didn't know how long the headshaving was going to take, and what state I was going to be in afterwards, and I didn't want to have to rush. As it turned out, planning on shooting some photos in the morning was probably the best thing I could have done. It allowed me to do what I know, and focus on something other than what was coming up.

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    Headshaving - Before

    When I first started performing in porn, I had two big fantasies, two big things that I knew I would do at some point before I stopped being in front of the camera. Those two things were breast suspension, and headshaving. The first happened some years back now, one of those moments where everything came together and it was just The Right Time (as far as I can remember, I wasn't actually even booked to perform that day, but a last minute model cancellation left me to step in).

    The second was more difficult to do. It would leave a visible sign afterwards, for quite some time. Something that wouldn't be easy to hide, and would potentially raise a lot of questions. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it until I was sure that I would be able to face those questions, to face the looks of strangers, the judgement from people I knew.

    In the beginning, the fantasy was just that, a fantasy. Something I would think about, something that would happen "sometime", but it was in a far off future that I didn't need to plan for just yet. But over the past couple of years, I began to think about it more seriously. Telling a few people here and there that it was something I was planning on doing. Discussing some possible scenarios, and putting very vague time frames on the idea. "I want to do it in the spring, so that it'll grow back in a bit before winter."

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